Oh dear.

Thought you saw that one coming, didn’t you? Talk about catching someone unawares. Ali would have given a knowing nod to that one. Pow.

You don’t mind if I just sit here and watch whilst you spit your teeth out do you? After all, you must have been saving your best smile until last. All the fun of the fair. Right here. On this spot.

Pass me my shades. It’s just too damn bright.

I can’t stand it, it blinds me. Plink, plink, fucking plink. Round and round like a lighthouse beacon. Now you see me, but that’s crap isn’t it? That’s just utter bullshit, because…

Ho, ho, ho. You know why.

You can part your lying lips and beam as often as you like, but it doesn’t go all the way up. It doesn’t quite light your eyes. No. It stops as soon as it started: A BIT LIKE YOUR LOYALTY.

Tread carefully, my friend. I wouldn’t want you to slip. This salt-seared jetty we wobble on is as treacherous as your grin and it will offer you to the waves as easily as your face splits in two. Trees have no conscience don’tcha know? Why would they? They’ve been around waaaaay longer than you, and they’ve seen it all. They also ended up festering in the ocean as a plank. Cold, useless and tarnished. Not unlike your heart.

Let’s dwell on that for a second – your miserable sinister tide and black heart.

How does it feel? I mean, I-just-don’t-get-it. It beats, but it serves no purpose. Other than to keep this untruth going. Welcome to Wonderland eh? Hoorah for the cheap seats. Where the impoverished rest their weary arses and ponder their next move, albeit with an obscured view. Who needs to see the clown anyway? They all float down here…

Rat-a-tat. Rat-a-tat-tat. That’s how it will sound when I gun you down. Silly me, I forgot the safety. “It was a accident occifer. I darn near tootin’ rootin’, disremembered my shooter-etiquette. What Fairground Attraction is this?” Whistle. “See, I am mighty sorry, sir. But you were stood just too damn close.”

You will buck and coil like an electrocuted scarecrow and then you’ll ask me why.  Addy ‘up! Here comes the summer, son. Take it like a man.

Then blaze a trail right on out of here. Before I change my mind.

You’re still here aren’t you? That’s a miracle in itself. That I haven’t let it have you yet. But I will. When it’s right. Just not today. I have other plans. For the meantime, why don’t you fall in step by my side and enjoy the view. Yes, that was an order. Your gave up your right to choices a million lifetimes ago – when you flashed me that not-so-secret smile.

Oh how we laughed. All the way to the doughnut shack. Who knew they’d fizzed and popped in a hot mix of Strychnine and veg oil? We couldn’t. We just bloody couldn’t.

“Step right up, step right up. Get your golden fayre here.”

Yeah, right. How’s the throat? I see the bloke that served us isn’t around anymore.

You might mock, but one day, this will all make sense. When you realise that I had your soul before you even knew it was gone.

Ray of light. Lucky Star. That’s just what you are. Only…

The sun forgot his hat today and like the bandits, he’s only got one arm.  Thief. Don’t care.

They take and they don’t return, unlike this tide. Welcome to hell – helter skelter hell.

Bet you stay.